Monday, October 29, 2012

I'm no longer 21....a short story of juxtoposition

The fact that I couldn't even muster the energy to draft a blog post last night should tell you guys a little bit about my weekend. woof.
let's back up though, shall we?
I spent my Friday morning masquerading as an adult, (which was quickly undone by Saturday's festivities).
My uncle acted as my sponsor while I got sworn in to the Minnesota Bar. It was fancy, I wore a suit, he talked a LOT about his bathroom remodel... all in all, we trudged through the hour and a half ceremony (a speedy one, in the realm of "ceremonies") and headed off to lunch at Kincaid's, where I ate myself stupid with the best french dip I've ever had in my life.
It was only as I was waddling back to the car at 1:30 did I realize we had an early dinner reservation for Restaurant Week with some of my fellow recently-admitted-lawerly-friends.
So, we napped off our lunch as a family
and then hopped in the car to head to Haute Dish, debating whether we'd split a meal.
Restaurant week, for those who aren't familiar, takes place all across the country. It's once a season, and is a magical week where super fancy pants restaurants with fabulous food offer a prix fixe menu (that's french, latin?, fancy talk for "fixed price" menu.)
The nicer thing about Haute Dish (which is on Washington in downtown Mpls, and I suggest you RUN THERE NOW, because OMG so good.) was that the courses were smaller portioned, and spread out, so I was able to actually eat a good portion of each course.
I am not usually the food-photo-snapping type, but this was too fancy NOT to.
Yeah, that's just a casual gormet iceberg lettuce salad, with candied red onions and cucumber towers. drool.
They specialize in deconstructed "American Classics"... so, my entree was the "tater tot Haute dish"..which had baby green beans, the most tender stack of short ribs I've ever had, and 2 large gourmet tots, filled with gruyere.
For dessert, apple cider sorbet, on a carmel sauce. nomnomnom.
Saturday, I power cleaned the entire house while M was tailgating at the Gopher's game. Dana had mentioned Friday night at dinner that she was going out Saturday. Dana also just landed a judicial clerkship in the exotic town of Morris, MN and will be moving there for a year Nov. 16th, SO, while I'm usually not a huge "goer-outer" I decided a girls hurrah would be fun.
I actually spent a solid 45 minutes Saturday crafting the most ghetto "runaway bride" costume ever (picture, bedazzled cutoff Target t-shirt, lace cap sleeves, and sheer curtains as the "skirt")...
imagine M's horror when he woke from his nap, and stumbled downstairs to find me in it.
He also didn't really see the irony or humor in the costome. Something about us actually getting married, and it not being funny.
In the end, I defaulted to a 1920's costume I had worn for our law school's winter dance (if I haven't said it before, law school is basically high school with double the drama...)
I of course, took zero photos, but this is what the costume looked like:

I also decided to grab a .75 of Bacardi Limon instead of my usual bottle of wine.
Bold, bold move. I'm pretty sure I had 3 drinks, and was absolutely out of control. I didn't get a SINGLE DRINK out at the bars. In fact, I slammed water at almost every bar we went to, and was still absolutely out of control.
To give you a flavor for what level I was on, I'm not an egotistical person generally speaking. In fact, sober-me is 90% insecure. Well, Saturday night I VIVIDLY recall when Blackeyed Peas "Good Night" came on at Bar Abeline, thinking that I was without a doubt the SWEETEST person in the building, and that everybody wanted to BE me.
So, after dancing myself sore, We went to another bar, which was lame, and had a cover, and apparently the bouncer wasn't impressed when Dana and I sprinted past him. Loser.
Next stop was McDonald's,.... Dana (and I, too, I suppose) have an embarrassing love of McDonald's. It's ridiculous. So, Uptown McDonald's at about midnight on Halloween weekend was quite the treat.
You guys may have seen me tweet this photo
With the accompanying text of "all the bitches be jealous."
there's that false confidence, rearing its ugly head again.. because I KNOW ya'll were jealous of my midnight munchies.
We swung by one last bar after that, and I decided I needed to sleep in my own bed. SO I called M, which he did say I should do, to see if he was awake. He was, so my friends hopped in a cab while I crossed the street to wait for him.
As I stumbled, strutted across Hennepin, I bit it. in the street. A stranger came to my aid to ask if I was ok. I hopped up, brushed it off, and assured him I was golden.
He insisted on waiting with me until my ride came (which he knew from the get go was my fiance, so, maybe there really are nice guys out there! M thinks otherwise, but whatevs).
He asked what I do, I told him I'm a lawyer, and this time we both laughed.
Clearly all lawyers spend their saturdays dressed as flappers drunk as a skunk, falling down in the street. SUPER mature, guys. I don't go out like this often, at all (as in, maybe once every 2-3 months) but when I do, I go for broke.
Sunday was spent in sweatpants. I woke up to a Bruegger's breakfast sandwich from M, a hangover, and chili in the crockpot. I clearly win the significant other game.
Hope all of your weekends were slightly more dignified. :P


  1. OMG! I love this. HAHAHAHA I saw your tweet, and totally giggled. Hope you're feeling better!!

  2. You rock, Miss Lawyer Pants. After reading this I firmly believe that your Saturday night was totally worth the ditching of Sunday's event. Hopefully we meet eventually, though. But seriously...thanks for sharing your Saturday in such vivid detail. Last time I was at BA in uptown a drunk girl broke her glass and proceeded to dance (BAREFOOT!!) in the mess. Not even kidding. Bloody mess and total buzz kill. #itwasnotme #promise


    So now I know the drink of choice for a certain bachelorette ;-)

  4. I think your weekend sounds greattttt! Mine was awesome too : ) Waking up to chili in the crockpot also is a pretty big score for your weekend... not "bitches REALLY be jealous!"

    XO, Kelsey

  5. I am crying! This is 100% my favorite post of yours EVER! Getting old sucks ass, doesn't it?!?!

    I'm glad you had a fun weekend and hopefully it doesn't take you a full week to recover as it now takes me.

  6. Bwaaaahahaha what a fantastic story! I'm glad you're feeling a little better now. I saw your McDonalds pic and all I could think was, "Actually, I am a little jealous..."! ;)

    Glad you had an eventful weekend!

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  8. hahahah love it!
    1. I LOVE french dip so I am going to have to try Kincaid's!!
    2. Fancy schmancy lawyer food! yum!
    3. I know what you mean when you get out of control and someone asks you what you do, and you're all "i have a doctorate degree, and I LOVE the CUPID SHUFFLE!" Clearly, I need to go out with you (in 2-3 months when enough time has lapsed and we're both ready to go out again!)

  9. Hilarious! I really hope you're feeling better. :-)

    To be honest, I am jealous of your McDonalds picture, and I totally want some now.

  10. Great story! Love your costume.

  11. HAHHA I love your story and that you thought you were the sweetest person - you probably were!

    1. I laugh hysterically every time I think of it because I so remember thinking "look at all these people check out my sweet moves! DAMN I look good!" hahahaha... oofta. #hotmess

  12. Ha, great stories! I feel like i'm living vicariously through everyone's wild Halloween stories since I spent the night on the couch and went to bed early. Good times :)

  13. HILARIOUS! I got super drunk off Bacardi Limon once and haven't touched it since. haha