ON VALENTINES DAY

It's Valentine's Day tomorrow.
It's also my birthday.
I'll never know what it's like to have a birthday not on a holiday, and I'm okay with that.
I'll never know what the hubbub is about a normal Valentine's Day because my significant others have always done something for me, because it's my birthday.


That being said, I find myself defensive of the day and what it stands for.
It makes me irrationally angry when people call it a stupid day, or offer one of their canned "I'm better than this day" lines. Oh, and side note, it makes you look like either a smug asshole* (if coupled, and "anti-V-Day".. or a bitter asshole (if single and "anti-V-Day"... so, either way you look an asshole, even if you're not trying to be smug and not actually bitter).


I read the following in a blog post recently:

"I started thinking about Valentine's Day and the tendency our society has to make this ONE day so laser-focused on romance.  Shouldn't romance, sex, lingerie, and love be woven into every day?"

The answer is: absolutely. But again, I think the understanding of the day is misplaced**.


The three holidays I parallel Valentines Day most to are St. Patrick's Day, Christmas and Thanksgiving. What do they have in common, you may be wondering. The two most common refrains I hear from people who are anti-Valentines Day are as follows:


     

 "I celebrate love year round... so we don't really celebrate Valentine's Day."

That's great.
Really, truly, it is. But do you? Do you HONESTLY?
Well, are you thankful year round? Do you express thanks and gratitude and appreciation for the people in your life and the things you have more than once a year? You do? Oh, so why do we need Thanksgiving. Do you boycott Thanksgiving?


Absolutely not.


Why?
Because as much as people say they are thankful year round, there's something special about taking a day to celebrate that thanks with a great meal with family and friends.


The same can be said for Valentine's Day. You're doing life in general WRONG if you're not expressing love on a daily basis. It doesn't even have to be on a romantic level, it can be with your friends or your family. Regardless, what's wrong with taking one day to be a little over the top. A little extra thankful- in the case of Thanksgiving, and a little extra lovey- in the case of V-Day.




        "It's just a scam by the greeting card, candy, and floral companies."


Right, the "Hallmark Holiday." You're so original.
Because there are no other consumer-based-holidays that mayyyyy have stepped away from the true origins of celebration thousands of years ago.
<<cough, cough..CHRISTMAS..cough, cough>>




Why aren't we calling St. Patrick's Day the Beer Industry Holiday. Because really, that's mostly what it's become. It's a holiday that has centered around getting belligerently drunk in the name of denigrating an entire country- because hey- you ain't Irish if you ain't drunk! (I'm not even Irish and I kind of find that insulting on their behalf). So where did that holiday originate? It's an international religious holiday and Catholic feast day. Did you know that? I'm sure you did. I couldn't tell you the history of St. Patrick other than he did a lot of great things.




Did you know that there was also a St. Valentine? That it's also a religious holiday and feast day?
Did you know he was imprisoned for performing weddings for soldiers who were forbidden to marry (and for ministering to Christians, who were persecuted under the Roman Empire.) So really in 2014 with marriage equality we should all be getting down with St. Valentine.




So why do people have such vitriolic views of Valentine's Day? It could be because over the years, increasingly high expectations have been placed on people's partners, sometimes leading to disappointment. It could be because there's a stigma that it's sad, bad, whatever- to be single. (One I don't buy into, for what it's worth).




You don't need to take a stance on Valentine's Day. Really. You don't need to let everyone know how easy-breezy-cool you are because you don't celebrate. You don't need to let everyone know how you hate it because you're single. Just... stop.




*After seeing a post on FB I do want to add: I totally understand why Valentine's Day may be hard for people who have lost significant others, or who have other unrelated reasons for having a tough time on V-Day. I'm not a total heartless monster. But this post isn't directed at them.


**(The rest of that post is fantastic, and actually- it focuses on not waiting for a "special occasion" to live your life- this one line just happened to inspire me to post about other commonly heard valentine's day refrains.)

d-day

Today's the day!

By the time you are reading this, M and I will be safely en route to our Valentine's destination. 

Oh yes, we're hoppin' on an airplane. 

In fact, we're probably 30,000 feet above you at this VERY MOMENT. 

Where are we going, you want to know? 

Here's a little clue: 

 

Did you figure it out? 

 Okay, okay, I'll tell you: 

That's right!

Stay tuned for a full recap Tuesday or Wednesday. :)

I Declare 2013 "Valentine's Day"

via

We're here today to discuss the day half of you (apparently) inevitably love to hate. Whether you're happily coupled but decidedly rebel into the "V-Day SUX" camp to express some type of solidarity with your single counterparts, or whether you're single and ready to mingle and fall into the "OMG guyz, it's a stupid Hallmark Holiday" camp and think you look totally cool but really you look bitter... Valentines Day is a sensitive subject. 

If I'm being transparent in which side I fall on, well, I'd like to think I have a pretty good reason. And if you're confused by the title of this post, you'll soon understand why: 

Valentines Day is also the day of my birth, -- my birthday. SO it irrationally annoys me to see people making not-so-funny jokes about Valentine's Day. Not only that, they're never original. And why? If you think it's a stupid holiday, good for you. STFU about it. Haters are not known for their ability to suffer silently. (myself included ;-) )

Let's get back to the point of this post though: this year, I have declared February 14th "Valentines Day!" What do I mean by that? Well, in the past when I've been coupled up, especially with M, the day doubles as Valentines Day and my birthday. What that inevitably means is that it's "all about me" and my s/o doesn't really expect anything in return. I don't usually do the planning, or much gifting, because the focus is on my birthday. (Usually with a "romantic" twist to the day). 

WELLLLL kittens, this year, I told M that it'd be Valentines Day..meaning, I want to plan something! He's aware that this does not absolve him from gift giving. 

Just kidding, it's always his prerogative to gift-give, but I wouldn't care much either way. 

I'm not going to divulge what is in the works for V-Day '13, since M snoops this-here-blog of mine, but stay tuned for the "reveal" on Valentines Day! It's going to be good :)

In the meantime, I can tell you a bit about past years with M, which have always been eventful! He can be quite thoughtful when it comes to special days. 

(I'm not writing this in an attempt to get people to tell me how sweet M is, I already know he's sweet. Instead, this is more so that I remember the details of these days, since I was having trouble conjuring up the details of last year's V-Day while drafting this. Woops.)

Valentines Day 2010:

This one was kind of hilarious and one for the record books. It was our first V-Day/B-Day together and we'd only been seeing each other for a month and a half. M was on his bestest behavior. Well, we'd chatted a lot in those early days about our "favorites" and it came out that I liked Eric Church. I made M listen to some of his music and M decided he liked him as well. I thought it'd be fun to buy us tickets for an upcoming concert in March or April of that year as my V-Day gift for him, so buy them I did. 

M picked me up and we went to his apartment and he surprised me with scrabble and wine (something we did on our 3rd date- played scrabble) before dinner. There we were, laying tiles, when M laid "Eric" and I got all huffy because IT'S A PROPER NOUN and against the rules. That's when he told me to LOOK at the board-->

Well I'll be damned. 

He'd snuck some tiles into his coat pocket and rigged the game so he could tell me what my gift was in this fashion. 

Next thing I know I have an envelope in my hand and I was all "STFU, he did NOT" and sure enough, he bought us Eric Church tickets. 

I started to laugh and handed him HIS gift- a matching set of Eric Church tickets. Yep, we bought each other the same thing. (We ended up selling my tix on craigslist, haha).

We went to 112 eatery in MPLS after and I had the best zuchinni chorizo and burger ever (that I've never been able to duplicate) and tres leche cake (also orgasmic). 

Valentines Day 2011:

He made me guess where we were going to eat, and he surprised me and brought me back to 112 eatery. 

Sentimental one, that boy. I got the same burger. I can't really recall many other details...but it was no doubt a nice night.

Valentines Day 2012:

Came home to a few envelopes on the table revealing a few small gifts: gift card for ice cream for our upcoming Naples vaca, a 'certificate' for me to pick out a bar cart for our house (still haven't gotten this one... lol), a promise to make some wood-transfer-art (this one never panned out either, haha!) aanndd lastly a ticket confirmation for The Vow that night at our local movie theater, and a menu for the theater. 

He took me to see The Vow (he is not a fan of chick flicks) at the fancy theater by our house that lets you bring in food and drinks. We split a pizza and watched the movie in the VIP section. Twas perfect. 

I'm excited for this year, I love to plan/surprise. The sneakier I can be, and the bigger the surprise, the better. SO I'm pretty much jumping out of my skin for Feb. 14th to get here so I can reveal my surprise. Stay tuned. 

Aannnndddd despite my preface regarding my distates for V-Day haterz. Do share. Do you hate V-Day? If so, why? Do you go all out? What's one of your FAVORITE V-Day's past?