I couldn't even tally the number of hours I've spent in coffee shops over the duration of my educational career. Once that ended, and I landed my first law gig, I would sometimes head to a coffee shop to work on a brief. Most recently, I'd head to a coffee shop to hammer out some job applications. I sent M to the lake with the boys this weekend and headed downtown to the trendy "North Loop" part of Minneapolis to a new coffee shop for some pure, unadulterated ME time.
No job applications.
And here I find myself in this space again. The space being, this blog. I find that when I'm off kilter in certain areas of my life, I have the tendency to stall out in others. Two weeks ago, I started a new job. Without getting into the details- not because I'm a vague blogger, but because I'm a professional- it was both an easy and incredibly hard decision. I knew it needed to happen, but once the wheels were in motion, I was looking for the brakes. I recall a moment on my 2nd day of work at the new job having at total panic attack that I'd made the wrong decision. It's more unsettling for me to have unsettled feelings because usually when I make a decision, I commit to it- paint color, furniture. I'm not a waffler.
The moment passed, and at the end of my second week, I feel confident that I can say I will really love this job. It's a 180 from what I was doing: practicing in state and federal courts across the country; to primarily Minnesota based, administrative law. Plaintiff's work; to defense. 6 attorneys; to 14 attorneys. It turns out, the things I thought I would like and would value fresh out of law school, are not the things I found myself loving. Maybe I'm not cut out for the stress and anticipation of 2+ week jury trials in federal court. Maybe I can't handle Plaintiff's work..not because I don't want to help people, but because I would carry their stress, their case, home with me.
I have no idea if I'll find myself missing some of those things. I still have components of that type of civil litigation in what I'll be doing now- just on a smaller scale. 90 minute depositions instead of 7 hour marathons. 1-2 day trials instead of 1-2 weeks. But I'm trying not to get ahead of myself. Right here, right now, I'm feeling at peace and happy and excited about my decision. I miss my old coworkers terribly.. but the wonderful thing about the small legal community in MN is that everything circles back around, and I'm confident in the friendships we made.
Totally unrelated thought, and I feel no shame in saying this either because it's so much more than cliche blog fodder for me, but I can't wait for fall. Summers in MN can run you ragged because everybody wants to do ALL THE THINGS ALL THE TIME. It's fun, but my late August illness told me my body is so sleepy. I've always loved school, and I played tennis in the fall, so for me- fall always symbolized the start of a new year.
So, chalk that up the most I'll probably ever write about work ever again on the blog.. but it needed to be said. With billable hours come less free time during the week to poke around on blogs or start a draft of my own.. but I'm hoping this season of "new" - new job, new season- will help me find balance and come back here more.