Thursday, October 4, 2012

Bloggers be bitches....(sometimes)

This is a post that's been brewing in my head for a long time now, but I wanted to wait until I couldn't be accused of writing this in response to some specific post. Because quite honestly, it's not.

That and I haven't really been able to sit down and formulate a new post because my brain is mush and I've been terribly distracted. If you follow me on Twitter you can probably gauge why.. I'll be back soon to explain, hopefully.
I'm a new blogger, so on one hand I feel "unqualified" to comment on bloggy politics,.... on the other hand, I feel like I'm intelligent enough to raise the bullshit flag when it needs to be raised.
Here's a newsflash: People are allowed to disagree with you
and here's my disclaimer,
so long as they do so respectfully.
There's a cycle I've noticed in the comment sections of blogs. It goes like this:
1. Blogger writes a blog post that has the potential to invite dissenting comments, i.e. "controversial"
2. Commenter disagrees, points out some hypocrisy, or otherwise voices an opinion that is counter to the bloggers. DISCLAIMER: I am only referring to dissenting comments posted in a respectful tone. There's a difference between
"hmm, I'm not so sure I agree. In some respects, you're even acting a little like those people you profess to dislike..? I don't mean to be rude, just pointing it out."
"you're a stupid hypocritical idiot."
3. Blogger, and/or her "gal pals" gang up on dissenter in the comments, usually with a litany of
"if you don't like the blog, CLICK THE X/stop reading/move on" followed by a chorus of "we got your back!"
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaittttt a minute. Because someone disagrees with ONE THING the blogger has posted, ipso facto they must dislike the entire blog, and are labeled a "mean girl" for continuing to read, for disagreeing and "wasting the time to comment just to be mean/disagree"..?
I fail to see the connection from A to B there.
Here's an honest question... is there to be NO dissent in blog world? If you follow a blogger, do you have to agree with 100% everything they post, or click the unfollow button?
That's not rhetorical either, if anyone wants to offer me some insight into this, PLEASE do in the comments.
It just honestly baffles me the frequency with which I see this. Someone is leaving nasty negative anonymous comments ALL the time? No room for that, anywhere in life. However I don't think we should be demanding people go away when they hold or express a viewpoint that is slightly different than ours on ONE issue. Guess what folks, that's LIFE. I know we like to insulate ourselves in blog-world to happy positive things, but my goodness if you can't handle someone disagreeing with you on a blog, how do you fare at your 9-5? with people you encounter on the weekends?
Not to mention it makes the attacker-backs look juvenile. Responding back negatively has never personally made me feel better. I leave the situation feeling crummy. I can even understand where an outsider may objectively view a comment, whereas the blog author may take it more personally, they may not read the same tone into it as say- I would. But why can't we then (maybe wait 5, 10 minutes for the intial "fight" response to cool down) and send an email saying, "hey, I appreciate the comment, I'm not sure if you were being mean/sincere and no I didn't consider things the way you suggested.. I appreciate you still reading though!"

Respect and kindness never killed anyone.


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  2. I agree with you for sure! I think everyone is entitled to their own opinions, therefore they should be able to disagree with another bloggers opinion, but like you so respectfully. There is no need for drama in the blog world, we have enough of it in the "real world" so to speak :-P

    Great post :) and the title of your post definitely made me laugh, I love it :-D

  3. MAN. I've been blogging since 2009 and have been just WAITING to get my first bitchy comment. No luck just yet LOL ;-)

    BUT, you're right. Respectfully disagreeing is a part of life!! The ganging up, friends-got-yo-back thing is so hilarious. I know we've had this convo before... but Blog World is just so strange sometimes!!

    1. You're too nice of a blogger for anyone to hate!

  4. AMEN. I'm just starting to navigate the blog world- and I'm scared sometimes! Haha.

  5. I stopped blogging for a while because I started not liking it. And that was sad because I genuinely liked blogging and documenting when I started (originally back in 2005). I don't know why, but things got weird and unoriginal. I think a good portion of the blog scene is a slight bit cliquey a whole lot keeping-up-with-the-Jones. Gotta wear my colored skinnies, TOMS, while sipping my pumpkin spice latte. Ha! And it turns my stomach when I see these little minions comment on post after post, with the same generic stuff. I started actively trying to "grow my blog" a while back...but it felt like I was begging people to read it. And then they'd comment and it would be completely unrelated to my content, leading me to then believe people weren't actually reading what I was writing. I dunno where I am going with this. Oh yeah. Blogger peeves. I have them too. Clearly. Ha! I have disagreed with a few bloggers, but instead of bringing it up on their blog, I will instead write my own post about it. I am not sure if that is appropriate, but I am not out to change that particular bloggers mind, thus I won't even attempt to constructively criticize, only to be attacked by their minions. Ha!

  6. People are mean on the internet sometimes! Although I will say that if you write something angry or very one-sided ("All women who wear cardigans are lesbians."), I think that you're setting yourself up for disagreement. I completely agree that it should be a nice disagreeing response instead of hate, though! R-E-S-P-E-C-T! ;)

    Happy Thursday!

  7. i have a lot of people in my life with whom i completely disagree on a LOT of things. but, we can have conversations without someone getting their panties in a wad because we are respectful with each other, we learn from each other, we accept that we may not know EVERYTHING there is to know about something. i have unfollowed a lot of these blogger "bitches" because they just make me angry. that's not what blogging is about. but then again, i don't even refer to myself as a blogger.. so what do i know? :]

    1. I know, right? It's this "all or nothing" attitude I can't get over. There's a lot of misplaced pride, in my opinion, in this "lets gang up on that 'mean commenter'" mentality... that I just can't quite grasp.

  8. That's something I cannot stand either..there are blogger cliques and I just try to stay away. They love the drama and that's now what I'm here for.

  9. Oh my gosh, I completely agree! I've been reading blogs for a couple years but just recently started blogging myself. If I strongly disagree with a blogger on a topic, usually I pass over the entry. I don't comment, don't state my opinion because I just don't want to start a crap storm!
    That being said...I don't understand why some people need to attack people on their opinion. As you said, there is definitely a way to state your difference of opinion in a civil matter...there is no need to attack a commenter who was politely disagreeing with the fact that the blogger thinks oxfords or loafers are the cats ass....which they aren't in my opinion :) haha

    Great post!

  10. OMG! I so agree with this comment! Obviously, you're not going to agree wtih everything that a blogger writes. But just don't comment. And if you do comment, leave it politely. If you get a negative (polite) comment, understand that they can have opinions too! Seriously... sometimes I wonder about people's social abilities.

    Ipso facto - you're funny.


    OK, I'm kidding. I think this post is spot-on, & it's something that irks me to no end about the blogging world. Are we really so sensitive that we find any tiny bit of dissent so offensive that we must send a social media army out to defend us?! From where I'm standing, debate is vital. And sometimes fun.