Friday, September 7, 2012

Let's chat politics. (kind of).

Hold yer britches, this isn't the type of politics post you're expecting.
This is about the politics of: weddings.

On the eve of M and I departing for a wedding in WI, and conversations I've been having with people lately... I am fascinated by wedding politics.

They say, or so I heard, that weddings bring out the worst in people. The crazy, the unusual, the unexpected. I scoffed it off.. I know my friends, I know my family, it'll be fine.

It has somewhat amazed me the types of opinions people have, and on what things.

The people I THOUGHT would have strong opinions or I'd need to wrangle in (i.e. typically the MIL) has been laissez faire. My dad on the other hand? Almost had a coronary when I offhandedly told him we may have the guys purchase suits instead of rent tuxes. He told me they'd "look like crap" next to my "fancy dress"... I had to remind him, they're not wearing flannel. Suits are still formal. (He's since settled into the idea a bit,... I just think his default setting is "SPAZ")

He also wants to invite my like, my great aunt who I have no adult recollection of ever meeting. Um, this isn't a family reunion pops. "But, she'll send you a gift still, even if she doesn't come!"
a) I don't want an old lady's money when we all know we're not expecting her to show up
b) OMG what if she DOES show up, as well as those 20 other "they won't come's!" you had me invite!

It almost makes me want to do this:


But just almost. More or less, I find it fascinating and amusing seeing what other people choose to fixate on.

M and I? Cool as can be. I only feel comfortable saying this because my PA Leah told me recently that I'm the farthest thing from a Bridezilla. It doesn't really upset me when people pull their crazy cards, it fascinates me. The psychology of weddings - it'd be a bestseller.

I quickly learned what  some of the hot button issues are in wedding planning:
1) Guest list (ESPECIALLY if you're cutting it down within the family, to certain generations, OR.. gasp.. no kids. Oh man, the crazies really come out of the woodwork then)

2) Weird registry items- like, how do you go about asking for just $ when you live together already without offending people who may not know you live together and/or sounding super klassy by writing "GIV US MONEEE!!" on the invite? (girl I work with, Hi Sara!, told us the other day about someone she knew that registered for EPT tests and lube. BAHA. I think that one wins).. and "Honeyfunds".. depending on which generation you talk to- totally cool, or scandalous.

3) The trend towards informality- like, the wedding we're going to tomorrow was an email RSVP. There are people who think "sweet, streamlined, save $ on stamps" and others who think "tacky" and probably elderly people who are all "what's a Gmail??!" ... Weddings bring together the generations and it's often difficult to mix modern trends in without flustering someone.

Then there are those people who are not even involved with your wedding, or A wedding in general, who have opinions. Nothing irks me more then seeing "OMG I'm unfriending the next person who posts about their wedding or engagement on FB." -- I get it, there are people who abuse the interwebz and tread the line into becoming insufferable.. but really? Grow up. Be happy for people. That post just makes you look a bit.. I don't even know what the least offensive adjective is but "pathetic" or "sad" or "immature" all come to mind. I get it that it can be hard if you really want a wedding or engagement, but you just sound like a brat by posting that shit.

This was rambly and probably all over the place but just some things I've been thinking about.
I LOVE seeing photos on FB or attending a wedding in person to see how different people do things differently. That's the beauty of a wedding- they're all so different!

So here's a question, and since there are allegedly 42 of you who read this shit, I'm hoping to prompt some of you out of the woodwork, I know ya'll have a story or two

What's the craziest/strangest thing someone fixated on or had an opinion about regarding YOUR wedding (or! for you non-marrieds- what's the craziest/strangest/tackiest thing you've seen or heard of at a wedding of another?)
ya'll can keep it anonymous too on the "other people's wedding" portion.

Ready, set, GO!



  1. Love this. There are so many things in here that we've also dealt with (suits vs tuxes, cutting down the guest list, inviting people that we don't want to because "they'll never show!") and also things that we've dealt with that have been SUPER dramatic and unnecessary (changes in the wedding party - girls only, of course - over and over and over again)

    Needless to say, I'd love for people to butt out ;) haha

  2. The wedding industry is crazeeeee. I love working wedding fairs for MP Cheesecake and we hand out these teeeeeeeny samples, and the bride is all, "ohmygawd no I cannot, I'm on a diet" and I wanna be all, bitch this thing has like 15 calories. srsly. And I have to say, all of the weddings I've personally been involved with (last year: personal attendant twice, bridesmaid once. next year: bridesmaid, personal attendant) have been easy as pie. Yep, that means your planning, KB!

    1. since you have no "email reply" set up, I'm replying here. You kill me. "Bitch, this is 15 calories!" hahaha

  3. Oh man, I love this. My wedding is a few weeks away, and I am *still* amazed by what people fixate over: guest list, food, fashion -- surprisingly, the favors have caused much debate and stress to all. Good luck, bride to be! You are obviously doing great so far! :)

  4. oh my gosh this post is my favorite of all time. People who complain about people posting wedding/engagements/baby stuff online? UGH. So annoying. THAT IS WHAT FB is FOR! right?!
    anyways, during our whole wedding planning, my parents could care less. They didn't take part in anything..until they wanted to invite all of *their* cousins whom I had never even heard of. And Pete wanted to make sure every purple & green was the exact same shade throughout (the stationary, and other decor, etc.). It was crazy. I however can't talk, because the night before the wedding I freeeeeaked because the ivory shirts the guys wore, and my flower girl's ivory dress, was a much darker ivory than my dress. Weddings make people crazy, it's true. There's so much pressure to make it perfect and amazing.

  5. OMG! I so agree!!! I love that your dad is so passionate about the wedding! My dad didn't even want to wear a tux. I had to pay for it so he'd wear it! LOL

    I think you're going to offend someone with something about your wedding, so do what works best for you. It's YOUR DAY! :)

  6. I totally agree with Carolyn. There's no possible way to make everyone happy at a wedding. And if you tried, you'd go crazy!

    I'm new into the wedding planning industry, but have heard & seen some interesting things, that's for sure!

    I can't really think of anything that people had a strong opinion about for our wedding. Everything was pretty laid back & relaxed. The best was about a week before & my dad asked me something related to the wedding & I told him I didn't care. He just stared at me & said, who stole my daughter? I just got to a point where I was done making decisions & was leaving it up to others!

  7. Laughing about Carolyn's dad refusing to wear a tux. My dad AND my Father in Law were the same way. And I quote "we're not wearing those penguin suits". Oh man. My dad did buy a new black suit, luckily ;)