Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Wedding updates and a rant.

This past weekend we got a lot of big stuff done, wedding-wise!

My shower invites went out in the mail last week and I finally got mine Saturday! My aunts and grandma are hosting it on September 8th. I'm nervous. More on that below, but when it comes to party planning I have serious anxiety. Gah. Also, if anyone has ANY recommendations for hostess gifts for 4 older ladies (50-60, and gma is "young" for her age at 88) that'd be swell, because I'm coming up empty.

M and I also got stamps to finalize our invites, and decided instead of arbitrarily hanging onto them until we had said we wanted to send them out (August 15-17th ish) we'd just do it now, so.... that's right.. we mailed the invites (CUE SCREAMING.) I had a panicked moment as I dropped them in the mailbox.. not because I don't want to marry M but because my first thought was "OMG what if we did something wrong on the invite, like, left off the date or something."

I needed to buy a few more stamps on Tuesday so we could also mail out our rehearsal dinner invitations! I ordered the design on etsy and them printed them on pre-cut 5x7 white cardstock I had from my table numbers.

They turned out SO much so I'm regretting not having someone design our invitations similarly, and then just printing them on plain cardstock. I did the invites myself and bought invite "kits" from Michael's, but waffled with respect to the leafy design on them a few weeks ago. I finally just said F it and they're not tacky or trashy so nobody else will care, and just sent them out.

I'm probably more wired to start receiving RSVP cards (wedding) and emails (rehearsal dinner) than I should be. Which brings me to the last wedding related thing that happened this weekend/last night which is giving me ALL THE ANXIETY: the couples shower.

My aunt (whose son's third birthday we celebrated this weekend) and uncle offered to throw us a couples shower for our friends. They are SO generous and I KNOW it'll be to the nines (i.e. catered, and maybe even bartended by an outside vendor). I was super excited at the idea of having our friends to their beautiful house for a fun night of celebration. She had said a Saturday would work best so for whatever reasons I had at the time, I told her August 31st.

YESTERDAY it hit me: that's labor day. Cue panic. M and I were debating the other night being totally psycho and emailing her to ask if they would mind bumping it back just one weekend (which would be the 7th, and the day before my other shower, but would be okay since separate people were attending and hosting) when we literally received the evite in our inbox as we were talking.

I'm sure you're wondering what the big deal is, and I'll tell you: in Minnesota "labor day" is not only the last long weekend of the summer before school starts, it's the last "Great Migration" to people's cabins up north. People take their cabins VERY. SERIOUSLY here. To the point that nothing short of a wedding or a funeral would hold them back from their cabin. Therefore, I fear we won't have as great a turn out (and if I'm being totally neurotically honest, I fear NOBODY will come, and so far this morning (Tuesday morning, they went out Monday night) we have 3 definite no's, 2 maybes, and ONE yes besides us  and it is seriously putting me over the edge. (edited to add: Tuesday night 2 more people RSVP'd no and I burst into tears. I'm a hot mess.)

This is totally irrational and I know people may have prior commitments but it makes me feel like a loser. Like, we're not enough for people to want to try to go above and beyond to make it, but that if it was a different couple within our group of friends, people may try to make more of an effort. (Hi, serious childhood baggage of fear of being left out of things, not being cool enough, peeking through).

I'll admit it: I dislike when people plan events on long weekends and "ruin" the chance for people to go out of town even though we are NEVER the people that "go out of town." Mostly this is true of weddings that fall on memorial day, or the 4th. Now that I am 100% accidentally that person, it also makes me irrationally sad that people may not come because they'd rather go spend an ordinary average weekend at their cabin. (...and as I write this 2 more RSVP'd no and I honestly want to burst into tears, OMG WHAT IS MY PROBLEM). okay. so that's my baggage and I need to stop talking about it lest I freak out more.

so there's your awkward wedding update. you're welcome.


  1. Oh, GIRL do I feel you! SERIOUSLY.

    My family is far and wide scattered.... and only 1 aunt is coming to my shower. Did I mention my mom was 1 of 9? I mean, seriously.

    So, that hurts on a family level. Potentially only one of Mr RH's two sisters is coming - which I understand, but they are only an hour away.

    My bachelorette party? Crickets from my college friends, who I had thrown numerous bachelorette soirees for - and traveled far and wide to do so. In the end, I had the perfectly quaint bachelorette party, and so many girls send gifts and thoughts and regrets - it was MUCH more than I expected, and it made me feel so reassured.

    Maybe it's just me, or my age, but things are getting harder now. There are babies and spouses and family commitments - much more so than my friends who got married a month out of college.

    Hugs. The people who DO come love you madly, and you will feel it. And I totally know where you are coming from. And I promise, life's just hard, it has NOTHING to do with being in the cool club or whatever. Cause you're in the cool wedding club and that's totally more important.

  2. I don't know the Minnesotan cabin thing, but I'm guessing that your real friends will come and support you if they don't have plans, and if they do have plans, they'll be sorry. I doubt your friends are going to hate y'all for planning something on a weekend that is a "long" weekend, and if they have any animosity, they're lame anyway.

    Plus the fact that it will be fancy means it's extra special. I mean, who doesn't love a date night where someone else pays for you?! Just saying.

    (Your rehearsal invites are STUNNING!)

  3. So exciting that the invites are out!! And So sorry about the couples shower :( You will have a blast with the people that do come and maybe even a few of those "nos" will turn into yes's :)

  4. I saw the date when I got the invite, but didn't even put it together that's its also Labor Day weekend. Is it during the day or evening? This can totally be salvaged. Is Matt bummed? How does he feel about things? Can it be rescheduled for the evening of the 30th? Maybe people will be more inclined to come if they know they can still head out the following morning for the cabin?

  5. I gave fancy vinegar and olive oils to my shower hosts from The Oilerie, as they all enjoyed cooking(there is one on Grand Avenue and I'm sure dozens of similar stores around the metro). Anthropologie always has cute frames, small decorative bowls, etc. that feel pretty luxe without a crazy price tag. I've also done a pretty vase with fresh flowers.

    Good luck, Kelly!

    1. OOH anthro is a great idea! I'll poke around there and get some cute things! Thanks for the reminder!

  6. Seriously - I feel ya on the events. A ton of our wonderful friends + family couldn't come to the shower (and mine wasn't even a holiday weekend!) and I was so, so upset about it. Then we had two very important family members (as in, we saved them front row seats!) not come to the wedding. It was BAD! Just remember that the people who are there love you very very veryyyyyyyyyyyyy much!

  7. Girl, I feel ya! I would be upset too! I'm so sorry! I hope lots of people start RSVP'ing yes so you will feel better about it! Ack!! I wouldn't have thought August-anything was labor day... it's usually September. Guess it's August this year!

    I hope it all turns out fine! That you have a great turnout! :) That was my worry too - i was always paranoid NOBODY would show. Not just for my showers, but for showers i've hosted for others.

    LOVE your rehearsal dinner invites!

  8. DON'T WORRY. I know how you feel. I get pissed when people decide to do other things on my birthday when I put all my friends' birthdays on my planner a year in advance. People will come, or they won't. And you won't miss them. The people you truly will want there, will be there. I thought it was planned for the friday evening?

    ps I did personalized stationary for my hostess gifts-those ladies loved it.

  9. I gave my shower hostesses(?) nice scarves from anthro (these were my mom's friends so they are a little older) and they loved them! I gave my aunt & cousin who threw my other showers some travel gear like make-up cases, toiletry cases because they tend to travel a bit even if it's just from their hours to the lake cabin. They say they use them all the time! I am sure whatever you decide to get them they will like and appreciate. And no worries about the couples shower, people will come because they care about you and guys and even though traveling that weekend is normal they are still going to get to something fun...and that is once in a lifetime...lake travel happens all the time. BOOM! You are golden! You will have so much fun and the showers all go so freaking quick it'll be over before you know. Getting RSVPs back is like the best feeling ever too :) I would run to the mailbox once they started to come everyday. Just makes it more real I guess lol.

  10. Take a deep, deep breath. It will be okay... You are definitely one of the cool kids. :)