My little stinker

I have another short tail* for you guys today

 

*(yep, another cat story)

 

Yesterday Teej went to the vet in the morning for his comprehensive exam, and to get his teeth cleaned. They had to put him under, because..well.. you try cleaning a sassy young kitten's razor sharp teeth while he's conscious. I can't imagine it'd be easy.

 

I shoved him in his carrier and he WAILED and HOWLED the entire way to the vet. Thank god it's only an 8 minute drive 1/2 mile away. If you think cats meow the same, you clearly have never heard the distinct difference between an "I'm HUNGRY!" meow, and a "I'M DYING!" meow. Especially out of my cat. oof.

 

I picked him up after work and he has the saddest little animal print bandage on his paw where they shaved him a bit, and administered his anesthesia.

 

He's a little wobbly and giving me the side eye the entire car ride home. No meowing, just side eye.

 

I bought him treats and a new toy to make it up so we played a bit, and then M and I went to our friends' place for dinner. Get home at 9 and are exhausted, so we decide to head upstairs to watch a Dateline in bed, a little tradition of ours.

 

That's when I first smell it.

My nose is plugged up so I'm just getting tiny whiffs of something, but that something is FOUL, and smells like poop. Literally. I'm sniffing every piece of clothing on me, my pillow, etc., and it goes away aanndd I also start to think I'm crazy. M comes upstairs and declares that the ENTIRE upstairs smells like shit.

 

We look down at the fuzzy culprit, who blinks back at us.

I ask him, "did you poo somewhere, TJ?"

<<blink, blink. mrawr!>>

 

I figure maybe the anesthesia had him groggy and he had an accident. Poor guy.

 

For the next THIRTY MINUTES M and I are on our hands and knees with a flashlight convinced we're going to find a little cat turd ANY second. We tear apart the bed, sheets, thinking maybe he shamefully scooted between the sheets and pooped. We look in closets that weren't even opened when we were gone, and inside the rafters..and then start to wonder if something hadn't DIED in the house because it smelled that bad.

 

It was strongest over on my side of the bed, but started to go away. Then M said he smelled it over by the closet/stairs.

 

We finally realized:

While we had been running around for a half hour looking for shit, TJ had been running around the upstairs laying the WORST SMELLING fart-bombs I have ever smelled.

He was just running, and tooting, and that's why we couldnt' find the source.

 

We realized how dumb we were in that if it was REALLY poop it obviously would have been concentrated to ONE area.

 

So, poor baby TJ got banished from the bedroom last night, since our gas masks were out for repair.

 

And thus concludes the time I devoted an entire post to my cat's rear end.

 

TGIF, people.

 

Stay tuned for that promised vlog. It's so happening this weekend. Mark my words.