Thursday, October 31, 2013


That's the word I've been heard thrown around more than I care to hear over the last 36 hours.
I struggle with how much to share, because I'm so not a facebook-prayer-requester kind of person. It's just not me. I don't mind telling people when I talk to them, but I'm not a broadcaster. That being said, I do want to explain my absence a little bit, and let you know I haven't decided how to continue with wedding posts, at least for the next few days, because responding to chipper emails about the wedding doesn't feel "right" right now.. although things are going better. I also want to document this for myself.
On Wednesday, October 30th (the morning of his 60th birthday, no less) my dad collapsed on the handball court at the YMCA, from what we later learned was a heart attack, triggered by some major blockages in his arteries, which then triggered cardiac arrest. They've also referred to it as "coronary arterial disease" (from what I recall). His friend who he was playing with performed CPR, clinically cracking a rib in the process (which means he did it right) until the Y staff located and used an AED on him. It worked, he was revived, and then taken to the hospital. They discovered 4 pretty serious blockages in his heart. Although he was stabilized they decided not to wait since he was otherwise healthy, and they performed quadruple bypass surgery on him yesterday afternoon. (Things I learned: "quadruple" sounds way scarier than plain ol' bypass, but it's actually no better or worse. Just signifies the number of bypasses they made). I was there all day yesterday, and this morning. He's already had his breathing tube removed, was standing a bit with assistance, and while he's in a decent amount of pain, is otherwise looking pretty damn great all things considered.
To say I've been a bit traumatized is an understatement. When you spend your whole life worrying about one parent (my mom) and then this happens to your "healthy parent" it's a very huge wake up call. This is a person who plays racquetball twice a week, and handball twice a week. He doesn't eat UBER healthy but he's also not at McDonald's every day. He's not overweight, not a diabetic, and not a smoker. They said this is largely genetic and has been building for a while.  
I really have been having a hard time putting into words how grateful I feel, mostly because it means articulating just how close it was. There were so. many. things. that, had they gone differently, I've been told I'd be planning a funeral instead of a month of meals and home care. I know that's supposed to make me feel better, how fortunate he was, but really it just freaks me the F out. Besides Matt, this is the single most important person on this PLANET to me. Yes, if you made me rank my family, I'd put my dad at the top. It's just the blunt truth. I don't love my mom and brother any less, but... he's just my dad.
So, thanks for your patience. I think I'm going to turn the comments off, just because I'll feel guilty not responding and things have been pretty busy. But I appreciate any thoughts or prayers you want to extend to him.