WEDDING RECAP // GETTING READY AT THE CHURCH

We left the house and drove over to St. Paul to get dressed at the church, and as we hopped in the car we saw the most incredible thing: THE SUN.

I think I mentioned it in passing but the weather leading up to the wedding day was one of the more stressful things I had to deal with. The entire week was sunny and beautiful and then Thursday into Friday it took a turn for the worse. They were predicting rain Friday-Sunday, and at various points, severe weather and 20 mph wind gusts. WEEP. I could've dealt with rain, but gale force winds? Nuh uh. At some point that week I bought 7 umbrellas. SO when the sun popped out and it warmed up I was about ready to burst into tears in excitement. The clouds returned while we got ready, but the rain held off until we finished ALL our photos outside before the ceremony. Praise the lord. I know this because after the ceremony the ground was wet. It stopped (or at least I didn't notice any rain) while we walked to the bus, and then sprinkled again later. We seriously got the few small windows of no rain throughout the day and it was all I could ask for.

Anyway, back to getting ready! We got to the church and loaded our stuff inside and back behind the altar where the girls got ready.

Our photographer took detail shots of the dress and rings and all that good stuff and I pretty much just paced around and breathed deeply.

About ten minutes after we got in, we heard the boys arrive. They had to walk by our room to get down to where they were getting ready. Hearing them was my first “OMG this is real.” Moment. The second, which was my absolute favorite memory of the entire day (if you made me pick one), is coming up. ;-).

The girls got dressed and then helped me put on my dress. I was able to read the card from M shortly thereafter, which was perfectly sweet.

It was right about then I realized it was go-time, and time to see Matt. We didn't have a ton of extra time to spare, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but it also meant I didn't have a lot of time to compose myself or "prepare." It was time to go see my groom!


Up next: first look

THE BLACK LUNG

Yes, that's a zoolander reference, yes, I vehemently hate that movie.
It's just too fitting to not use.
Sunday night I felt it coming on.. a combination of that gunk that's been circulating in the metro area (and apparently has had 1/3 of M's place of employment of 400some people out this month) and probably sheer exhaustion from coordinating my dad's care and getting him home. Throw in there a semi-useless little brother (he doesn't read this, so I can say things like that) and I was out of commission HARD yesterday and 1/2 of today.

I had a way more ranty post drafted about the sibling issues but it's not even worth rehashing. Basically he's 23 and has had little to no responsibilities 90% of his life so now suddenly having to utilize foresight and make care plans for my dad if he wants to attend social function is this huge OMGALLTHESPAZES thing. He's just not equipped to manage many things at once. I kindly reminded him I was coughing up tar and trying to hold down a 40+ hour week job as a lawyer and oh yeah, coordinate ALL THE HELP by myself, and he told me "nevermind" and to "not worry about it" until we can meet up to reassess our schedules. Ugh.

That griping out of the way, I plan on publishing wedding posts now. I just felt like I should say something about my awkward absences and that I'd be posting photos again. Felt kind of weird not to.

So, there's that. :)

ANOTHER UPDATE

I think the last thing I said was that they'd be releasing my dad Tuesday or Wednesday. That quickly turned into Thursday, which turned into Saturday or Sunday. Long story, but they're managing some medications and a few small blood clots they found (which was making him dizzy/sweaty) and he's "allegedly" coming home tomorrow afternoon. I've learned my lesson, and I'll believe it when I see him sitting in his chair at home. :)

Thank you so much for all the thoughts and prayers and kind words. We really appreciate them.

With things seemingly returning to normal, or rather our "new normal" I'm probably going to resume wedding posts early next week. In case anybody was interested. Hope you all have a good weekend! I'm going on a venue tour and lunch with Leah and the other bridesmaids/personal attendant and then playing nurse hopefully to dad at home for the remainder of it. Should be fun! and low key. I hope. haha.

THE EXACT MOMENT YOU REALIZE THE PERSON YOU MARRIED IS A BETTER PERSON THAN YOU

It just happened.
Like, literally 30 seconds ago.

I mean, I had a sneaking suspicion all along this was the case but if any one moment in time confirmed it, it would be this one. I'm sure this isn't how Matt imagined being a "newlywed" would go.. nobody could foresee my healthy-as-a-horse dad having a heart attack less than a month after our wedding. But it happened. There's 2 ways you could choose to deal with that if you're Matt- be there for your spouse but eventually let your fatigue show, maybe complain a little or get short with your spouse (a.k.a. how I imagine I'd handle things).. or you can do what Matt actually has been doing.

Last night he drove to my parents with me at 7:30 while battling a wicked sore throat and a cold, and feeling like self-professed garbage, to clean out the fridge and set up my dad's room.

My moment happened today though.. He called me to let me know he's getting off work early to go to my parents, feeling worse than he did yesterday, in an impending snow storm, to hook up cable to my dad's room with my brother. He then said he'd wait for me to get off at 4:30 or so to unload and assemble a recliner we're loaning my dad, and then he offered to sit with my mom after all of that- so I can go to the hospital tonight to visit my dad for a little while.

He is more patient and more understanding and more compassionate than I could hope to be on my best day. Isn't that the type of person you're supposed to marry, anyway?

UPDATE

I wanted to start by saying thank you for all the thoughts and prayers and those of you who sent a message (I didn't mind :)). I appreciate it more than you know. Everybody always talks about how much family and friends pull together when things like this happen and you really can't understand it until you experience it- it's so overwhelming, in such a good way.

I had an earlier draft of this post written and then so much changed in the last few hours. That's always how it goes, isn't it? He's already heading home tomorrow .They said he's been doing really well, and I've noticed changes even in the last few times we've visited. He's more lucid, complaining less of pain, and is more mobile. (Updated to add: He's staying until Tuesday or Wednesday. He said he just wasn't feeling ready yet and the doctor either picked up on that and is letting him stay and also said he wasn't looking 100% (still gets dizzy and heat flashes when sitting up) so he'll still be under their watchful eye for a day or two more! Which he seemed relieved about, so that's good.

He's still really sore, obviously- but he's been saying mostly that the pain is from the cracked rib, not the giant incision down the center of his chest.. go figure. My original plan was to get the whole first month figured out but they're making it sound like he may not need 24 hours of care for the entire month, so instead we're taking it a few weeks at a time. So far we have the first two weeks covered- either my brother, Matt or I will be there with him at night, and my mom's PCA is there during the day. We've also got 2 and a half weeks worth of meals covered. We'll reassess then, see what he needs, and ask for more help if need be. I figured that was better than having 30 meals made and him being far more functional than we guessed. Of course people will drop by with meals, too, so... at least we're accounting for some of that.

I was pretty spazzy this morning about getting everything coordinated, mostly because everybody is looking to us for direction and when I'd tried to coordinate with my brother he was taking much more of a "calm down, it'll get figured out, we have some time" approach. When we heard he was coming home tomorrow he suddenly became much more amenable to talking out our schedule and coverage for the first 2 weeks.

The only frustrating aspect has been how quickly the conversation has changed from concern and deference to our family handling things and offering to help to this wave of questioning whether we are prepared, what kind of care he'll be getting, whether we've asked XYZ questions, etc. It's almost as if some people expected us to just roll him home, plop him down, and then wing it? or that there would be NO follow up from the hospital? I don't mind the concern, but the fact that their automatic reaction seems to trend towards "we don't trust you guys to handle this".... bothers me. I'm a functioning and capable adult, thanks.

So, that's where we're at. This was really word vomity. I may not resume wedding posts until I feel like we have the home situation taken care of, and some semblance of a schedule set. So.. sorry. Stay tuned?! Ha.

LUCKY

That's the word I've been heard thrown around more than I care to hear over the last 36 hours.

I struggle with how much to share, because I'm so not a facebook-prayer-requester kind of person. It's just not me. I don't mind telling people when I talk to them, but I'm not a broadcaster. That being said, I do want to explain my absence a little bit, and let you know I haven't decided how to continue with wedding posts, at least for the next few days, because responding to chipper emails about the wedding doesn't feel "right" right now.. although things are going better. I also want to document this for myself.

On Wednesday, October 30th (the morning of his 60th birthday, no less) my dad collapsed on the handball court at the YMCA, from what we later learned was a heart attack, triggered by some major blockages in his arteries, which then triggered cardiac arrest. They've also referred to it as "coronary arterial disease" (from what I recall). His friend who he was playing with performed CPR, clinically cracking a rib in the process (which means he did it right) until the Y staff located and used an AED on him. It worked, he was revived, and then taken to the hospital. They discovered 4 pretty serious blockages in his heart. Although he was stabilized they decided not to wait since he was otherwise healthy, and they performed quadruple bypass surgery on him yesterday afternoon. (Things I learned: "quadruple" sounds way scarier than plain ol' bypass, but it's actually no better or worse. Just signifies the number of bypasses they made). I was there all day yesterday, and this morning. He's already had his breathing tube removed, was standing a bit with assistance, and while he's in a decent amount of pain, is otherwise looking pretty damn great all things considered.

To say I've been a bit traumatized is an understatement. When you spend your whole life worrying about one parent (my mom) and then this happens to your "healthy parent" it's a very huge wake up call. This is a person who plays racquetball twice a week, and handball twice a week. He doesn't eat UBER healthy but he's also not at McDonald's every day. He's not overweight, not a diabetic, and not a smoker. They said this is largely genetic and has been building for a while.  

I really have been having a hard time putting into words how grateful I feel, mostly because it means articulating just how close it was. There were so. many. things. that, had they gone differently, I've been told I'd be planning a funeral instead of a month of meals and home care. I know that's supposed to make me feel better, how fortunate he was, but really it just freaks me the F out. Besides Matt, this is the single most important person on this PLANET to me. Yes, if you made me rank my family, I'd put my dad at the top. It's just the blunt truth. I don't love my mom and brother any less, but... he's just my dad.

So, thanks for your patience. I think I'm going to turn the comments off, just because I'll feel guilty not responding and things have been pretty busy. But I appreciate any thoughts or prayers you want to extend to him.

Kelly

WEDDING RECAP // GETTING READY AT THE SALON

Finally ready to start these recaps!

I jotted down a list of all the posts and I think I was at 10 or 11 (O_O) so this may go on for a little while. If this doesn't interest you, well, then you don't interest me. ......Juuuuust kidding but I want to make sure to get down all the details.

Saturday morning began for me at 6 a.m. when I couldn't sleep and had to pee. I woke up to feed the kitty, scared he'd wake up Dana or Tori who had spent the night, and then did what I'm sure most brides do on their wedding day: curled up on the couch and watched Criminal Minds at 6:30 in the morning. I tried to nod off for a little bit longer but it just wasn't happening. Thankfully Dana is crazy and wakes up at 6:30 by choice and was downstairs doing some workouts so I had company soon thereafter.

Before I knew it, it was time to start gathering some belongings to head to the salon to get ready!
We had a 9:00 appointment but I needed caffeine to make sure I lasted all day (I should've known this wouldn't be a problem with the adrenaline). Of course that morning was the slowest I've ever seen Caribou function, and I was getting antsy and wanted to get going to the salon.

I finally had my PSM (pumpkin spice mocha, duh) and we were en route to Phresh Salon and Spa just a little ways away. We walked in and I was put in the chair immediately for hair. I knew I had to eat something, and I always heard people tell me to "make sure I eat" and I thought, "HA, I never have a problem eating." Well let me tell you- something happens that made me feel full at all times and not want to eat a thing.

The girls rotated in and out of the chairs, we chatted, ate (some of us) and had mimosas and it was such a great morning.
(as an aside: I didn't have our photographer come to the salon to take professional photos. Due to the timeline of our day, I had to add an extra hour as it stood on the back end so we didn't have to rush our first dances, so adding 2 extra hours just wasn't something I wanted to do. I brought my DSLR and took photos of my own at the salon):

Confession about my hair and makeup: I HATED it at the trial. I consider myself pretty low key (I tried on about 8 wedding dresses and got the 2nd one I tried on) so I was surprised a bit by how particular I felt about my hair and makeup. I wanted my bangs swooped more to cover up more of my forehead, I wanted more curls in tact vs. brushed out, I wanted slightly more volume in the back. I also wanted liquid eyeliner and despite showing a photo with liquid I wound up with this weird pencil stuff. I knew the things I wanted to change, but I was just nervous about execution. Saturday was IT, and if it didn't go well,  that was IT. I spoke up about what I want changed, and I'm happy to say, I LOVED the final result. I was a bit anxious as I was getting it done until I saw it start to come together absolutely perfectly and I couldn't have been happier with the final result.

We stopped back at home, grabbed my dress, veil, and some other things we'd left there, and did what any good cat lady does on her wedding day... take a photo with her kitty:

Note: I got a sweaty and blurry version of this same photo at the end of the night, too:

[TJ looks less than enthused, but he loved it.]

After grabbing the last of our stuff we headed off for the church to get dressed!

Up next: getting ready (the church).